Malapropcorn
Some people collect teaspoons. Other plump for fridge magnets. Me? I can’t resist a good malapropism.
Over the years, riding in trains, eavesdropping kids, scouring newsprint, I’ve gathered a fair swag of these verbal mangles, where one word is meant for another.
Few of us are immune. Blushingly I recall a first date a year out of school, and ordering a half-giraffe of wine from the garcon. The date didn’t go so well – but the laughter is still going a few decades later!
Anyhow, here’s a glimpse of my Malaprop medley. Any you’d care to add to the collection? I swear on a bibelot, all these are genuine.
“How come politicians get the RIP treatment?”
“The Australian rugby team has a wallaby as its mastiff.”
“The entire project is one big pink elephant.”
“Before setting up camp you should raconteur the area.”
“I bought Dad a book of amusing golf antidotes.”
“After crossing Bass Strait, we felt so relieved to be back on terra cotta.”
I’ll file another bunch later this week. Feel free to post you own droll bungles.