Modern Maladies - SWIVEL NECK
SWIVEL NECK – Manifest widely in the female sector of the adult population, yet not exclusively in our metrosexual times, swivel neck (cervical tenosynovitis) is thought to stem from the patient’s morbid desire to learn whether their gluteus maximus is perhaps a little TOO maximus in last season’s Capri pants, or next season’s 501s.
Skeptical by nature, textbook sufferers will often ignore a spoken response in preference for an act of asymmetric contortion in order to ‘see for themselves’, thus inflaming tendons, inviting cricks and often triggering paraesthesia in the lower extremities.
GPs are advised to remove any reflective surface from the clinic and treat all patients with tact and equanimity. Strategic compliments might also save the day, but prepared for cross-examination.